i always thought I had avoided this issue. then i moved to a new town. starting with zero friends in a new town, with very little in place as far as shows, groups, etc, it seems quite a bit harder than it was 20 years ago. meetup used to work but it has become a cesspool of zoom calls and pay meetings. i wish i knew a really good answer (and i dont drink so bars dont have the appeal. by the time i get off of work coffee shops are closed)
I've wanted to try out the "2 hour cocktail party", based on the book linked in this HN comment. The author started doing this after moving to NYC, just hosting a cocktail party every month or so and inviting interesting people that he'd met. I haven't tried it yet, but it seems to cover all the classic hosting missteps and pains that I've experienced in the few get-togethers I'd previously hosted:
You certainly have a few hobbies no? Or anything you have been wanting to try for years?
I certainly don't have the time and energy to do all the things I would if I had more free time. There are so many sports/activities I'd like to do but don't have time to, many of those for which I could find a club/class for.
i love people and do not want to be alone.